Felix Ker's blog

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I don’t know in what way am I most like Chris Pirillo, as according to The Technosailor Self Importance Test.

This 13 questions quiz was quite accurate. Share with me your result after you do them, okay!

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Below are 9 words women use and men don’t understand:

1. Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing : This is the calm before he storm. This means something, and ou should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
5. Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say ou’re welcome.
8. Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying F$%KYOU!
9. Don’t worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’
   For the woman’s response refer to #3.
   

Don’t you think you understand women to a large extent now?

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I don’t think you can say that I was headhunted. Perhaps, I call this luck to be able to get such deals, once again.

Now that I’ve got this deal, I’m sharing with you, my readers. The contact details are below if you are interested in taking up the job.

I know most of you are kind people and some of you might want to share with your readers (if you blog too). Feel free to take the content below (go ahead!!), and DON’T BOTHER TO LINK BACK. LOL! I don’t want anyone who took up the job to rant at my blog saying I’m a cheater.

My name is Mr Tim Baker. I just came about your email address through an online
email listing and I would be very interested in offering you a part-time paying
job in which you could earn a lot without quitting your present Job or having problem with your employers.

I am a reputable man with 4 kids all boys and the love of my life, my wife. I am a multi talented man and I do quite a lot of traveling and get to meet a lot of people.

I just resigned my job as a research scientist but I still work as freelance consultant for the institute which gives me very much time to do my own work which is basically being a freelance researcher who could be employed by research institutes to do research projects anywhere in the world.

I reside in Garys , London even though I have lived most of my life in other parts of the world, I am fully residing in London. Presently, I have just been granted a funding to head a research project in the tropical regions of West Africa regarding rare and vulnerable plant species and this would be commencing very soon.

However my funding were by my American counterparts who send me the bunch of payments mostly in US based money orders and cashier checks. Getting an accountant in the States or opening an account would have been my best choice but I have a deadline to meet and taking any of those choices would cost me time and a whole lot of other requirements I am not ready to deal with, as I would be traveling a lot in the meantime.

So presently, assuming you would be able to deal with cash, I would be willing to employ you on contract basis to be my payment representative back in the States, this way they could issue and make payments in form of Money Orders, Cashier’s Check, etc out to you, you could then cash them easily, withdraw 10% of the total amount on these payment instruments as your commission and
then send the rest back to me through wire transfer.

Please, bear it in mind that we would be dealing with quite a handful of cash and you could be making up to $5000 just working with me in a short period of time (within 2-3 weeks).

I would be glad if you accept my proposal and I intend to commence on starting as soon as you are ready. If you are interested, please email me back ,so we could make concluding arrangements.

If You are interested, Kindly provide me with:

Your Name.

Your Address (NOT P.O Box)

City, State, Zip

Occupation.

Phone Number(s)

Thank You.

Mr Tim Baker

Reply To : E-MAIL ADDRESS…

t_baker111@yahoo.com

+447011131321

Please hor, if you are really go for this deal, don’t blame me if you don’t earn the $5,000, but instead lost money. (LOL!)

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1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Night Football.
6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutter’s don’t rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channel, you don’t have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don’t attack you.
16. You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don’t have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You don’t have to shave below your neck.
36. You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
37. If you’re 34 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people’s feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn’t live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me)
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too skeevy.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
69. Same work….more pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71. You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
73. You don’t care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth’s population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don’t mooch off others’ desserts.
76. If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
79. ESPN’s sports center.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn’t pretend you’re “freshening up” to go to the bathroom.
85. If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t tell you friends you’ve changed.
86. Someday you’ll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase “F*#k it!”
88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Di’s death was almost just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you’re not in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical didn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96. You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So…notice anything different?”
99. Baywatch
100. There is always a game on somewhere.

Are you glad you’re a guy? Or do you want to be a guy? Ha!

I like #46 but I don’t agree with #86.

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