26 Tips: How to know if your girl cares?

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1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better.” This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If she is, say “you better be.” Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies.

7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words “F**K you” and grab the other girl’s ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for mile so she thinks it’s going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you’re really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear “…because I can.”

9. Introduce her to your friends as “some chick.” Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she’s cold…and not by giving her our jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say “if you don’t stop complaining about the cold right now, you’re going to be complaining about a black eye.” The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she’ll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny…why shouldn’t girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you’re in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way, she’ll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order, interrupt and say “no, she’s not hungry.” Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it (but not a sexy cologne smell…a bad smell. You know what I’m talking about).

21. When it’s raining, keep asking her if she’s crying. She’ll say “no, it’s just the rain.” Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she’ll think you’re mysterious.

24. Remember her birthday, but don’t get her anything. Teach her that material objects aren’t important. The only thing that’s important is that she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she’s coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can.

26. If she’s mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you’re going to tell her a special surprise. Now she’ll be really excited, then don’t call

  • anissea

    Haha I read this 5 years ago and I didn’t know about sarcasm back then.. I got offended..but now that I read it again..it’s really FUNNY! :D

  • sarah

    Haha I read this 5 years ago and I didn’t know about sarcasm back then.. I got offended..but now that I read it again..it’s really FUNNY! :D

  • Glenn

    Omg so funny

  • Corey

    Lmao, this is obviously just for a laugh. No man should ever treat a girl like that but this is funny as hell! :D

  • rocky

    i am looking a girl as you

  • abhinav

    get lost the will say this never treat any one in this way but was funny really funny

  • http://google.com Wade

    This is the worst article ever . My girl would kill me . Im suprised this guys aint dead yet

  • Ghost girl

    This should be called 26 ways to get yourself smacked and single!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://youtube Fiona Kara

    Hahahahaha and thats how its done lol ! I cant stop laughing ! Oh ! And I serisously know some teen guys that actually do that kind of stuff as “the F….ck you” scene .

  • Kate

    Ooh ma gosh!!! Wot a uselesstip!! I as a gal neva wants ma guy treat me dis way..cos if he eva dose,hes gonna suffer nd end up havin a broken heart…dis automaticaly stupid…who xo eva wrote dis tips…will end up..havin no gal as his gal…!!!

  • http://naijaloaded.com austine

    i tink sum of dis article are tru ..but i cnt do it to my galfrd

    • anonymous

      I really think you should pic up a dictionary f**king retard

  • http://in.com rocky

    the writter of this article is a real asshole…

  • Noneya

    What the heck. None of this is true on any level. We don’t want to be “roughed up”, we don’t want to see yall grab other gurls a**s. We don’t want you to call us in the middle of the night 4 times before morning. Whoever wrote this, had to have been a guy, because they don’t know what they are talking about; Ever**.

    • sam

      Noneya i am a guy but your right this is all b******t clearly he is not a gentlemen everyone with half a brain would ingnore any of those tips but just in case everyone never do any of those things to your girls ever

  • http://yahoo.com Zakson

    Guys are too much….

  • Brill

    Pathetic but hilariously funny XD

    If some nerds reading this, then you’re guilty for poisoning their minds.

  • james carson

    If this is how you treat girls you don’t deserve anyone

  • ol

    Lol hillarious XD its just a joke ppl. Why u guys being so anal?

  • Bee

    lol no. that is ridiculous, k.

  • hfizzle

    W.T.F?

  • Thishan

    Seriously……do you want all guys to end up gay!!!!! What a pussy!!! Anyways I had a great laugh.thanks for that!

  • shay

    So this is were my ex got all his tips from got it… there are really guys out there like this… treat u great pull u in and pretty much do all of this…

  • g+

    sick!!!

  • Sam

    i read the first 5 and i was like “……what the heck? so wrong”

  • redvelvet

    LOL! I only ready half way, and i was like, dammnnnnn you gotta be kidding me, i (a girl) don’t wanna be treated like that. gosh! Hahahaha if my boyfriend ever do these to me, it’s him whose gonna get the black eye :p

    • Kate

      wtf? i read about half of it and im just like what the hell. i feel bad for any guy that actually listened to whoever wrote this. this is what you would do if you want the girl to break up with you. any guy reading this should do the exact opposite.

    • B.K

      I’m a guy who always treats girls with complete respect. I agree with what you are saying, a guy who doesn’t treat his girlfriend with respect and doesn’t care for her he’s an impundant jackass.

    • Icer

      I’m also guy but not like any guys in here, that I will never touch a girl (or my girlfriend) before marriage. In other means of, I will never hold her hand, kiss nor sleep with her. I won’t ever make sweet promises until I get married to the one I love most.
      I have a girl friend. We hang out but never hold her hand. When I want to ask her out, I would ask her parents permission. Sometimes I prefer to bring along her little sister along on our date. We don’t go out after 7 pm because I don’t like dating in the night when it’d be just the two of us. The devil will always lure mankind to do such things that are against moral values.
      This is how I respect her. She respects me, one of the prettiest girl in college. Now I treat her like my own sister, just that I forbid myself to touch her. After marriage, I treat her like a princess.

      • Obi-Wan

        Icer you dickhead. You muslim bro?? You the wierdest mother-fuker I eva seen. And trust me. I seen some pretty fuked up mother-fukers!!

  • Jared

    HAHAHA i loved it. im a great guy who treats women with total respect but i was laughing the whole time i read this just because its perfect sarcastic tone. i believe this guy must have a decent idea of what girls do want because he so perfectly relates buy this what they dont want. the best part of it all is that some people actually think its supposed to be serious and cuss him out. haha love it, have a great day all

  • Katie

    Omg for those who don’t get it this was a joke and if a guy actually took this seriously he was an idiot and was destined to go back to preschool anyway we truly do not give guys enough credit. but funny anyway I laughed till I cried but if a guy did actually treat me like that I would need somewhere to bury a body. But no one would ever take this seriously so tour safe

  • Krishna

    whoever took this seriously is a retard

  • chucknorris

    ya’ll a bunch of niggers

  • Sharon

    I am a girl and just looking at some of these things they aernt true. Girls dont like to be pushed around or made to cry. :O They like to be snuggled and know that their boyfriend cares about them. Numebr 23. for example girls dont like to be told that they cant listen to there boyfriends music. iF I was that girl i would’ve thoguht i did something wrong. 19 . i would slap the guy if he did that to me i would be like :O what was that for?!?

    • rocky

      i am looking a girl as you